Lost and Found

And the train continued quietly steaming off into the night.
You left, and took my heart with you
Leaving me the color of breathlessness.
How I ached around the open hole, running fingers along the uneven edges and crying into my pillow.
My nervous anticipation was the only thing left to hold in my hands
Like the prayers that someone would see my address
on the corner of my unplanned stowaway heart
and send it back to me.
The shade of death overtook me
kissed me once in greeting
And told me it was time to let it die.

I stopped checking my mailbox and looking over my shoulder
My feet found lightness again and my mouth sank back into skyward curves.
I even found my heart again.
Found it could still break and still beat,
I could live with all of it's cracks and learn to be thankful for the lines.
I discovered that failing was a choice
And I could still dust myself off and decide to be happy each day.
The choice wasn't always easy
And sometimes the only joy to be found was the acceptance
that I had lived past my worst decisions.

And one day, under the glow of supermarket streetlights
I found I could let my heart be stolen again.
But willingly and gently into the night it went.
Walked with the hem of it's dress kissing the grass.
As if it had never come crawling back limping over
rough miles and the broken glass jars of wishes
fractured under it's weight.
I learned that love is the decision to become defenseless for the chance
to glimpse into the essence of God.

I am young and foolish enough to feel endless
but every story ends.
Not all of them are wrapped up in bows of their completion.
Some are messy with notes scribbled in purple crayon and highlighter up and down their margins
But I also know that the most well worn stories are the most loved.
So even if I have the scars I no longer remember the battle, just that I won
I have the miles but don't remember the wrecks, just that they were miles well spent
And when life disappointed me and let me down I know that every agonizing second led me to this moment
and every heartbreak was well worth the wait.